The Kinder Surprise

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The Kinder Surprise

n.
the point in your early adolescence when you realize that your parents are muddling through their lives the same as you; that many respectable adults are no less lost than you and your friends, no less petty and obsessive and insecure, which makes you wonder if there are no real adults, because such a thing never actually existed, except in bedtime stories.

German Kinder, children. Refers to Kinder Surprise, a foil-wrapped chocolate egg that contains a small toy that’s already broken into pieces. Pronounced “thuh kin-der ser-prahyz.”

Amoransia

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Watashiato

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Foilsick

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Redesis

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Mottleheaded

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On Tenderhooks

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Lackout

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Bye-Over

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Attriage

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Querinous

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Lookaback

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Mauerbauertraurigkeit

Mauerbauer-traurigkeit

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Antiophobia

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Immerensis

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Feresy

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Heartworm

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Hubilance

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Lap Year

several people racing bicycles uphill in a forest

Funkenzwangsvorstellung

Funkenzwang-svorstellung

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Anti-Aliasing

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Zverism

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The Whipgraft Delusion

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Aimonomia

close-up of a plant with lights glowing in background

Agnosthesia

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Mogging Folly

a person sitting on a bench

Galagog

a person alone in a snowy desolate landscape